What am I so afraid of?

May 12, 2009 at 1:56 am (metacognition) (, , , , , )

Lately I’ve been taking in a lot of information, a lot of inspiration, and I’ve had a serious urge to start blogging for real — none of this post-once-or-twice-and-forget-about-it-for-months-at-a-time crap. It’s been on my mind since I started co-op, and was really hammered home in @whitneyhess’s “Evangelizing Yourself” talk at RedUXDC on Saturday.

I think my biggest fear is throwing up my ideas and posting things before their perfect. I’ve always been one to think things through thoroughly — perhaps too thoroughly — before speaking or acting. Lately, it’s been holding me back. At work, at professional/networking events,  in social situations. I thought for a little that I was outgrowing the intense shyness of my childhood, but now I’m starting to wonder. I’ve often wondered if this is “just who I am” or if I should change, or if I can. People always say “just be yourself,” but I worry that if I *just* be myself, then people won’t really see who I am…because a large chunk of me is quiet/shy/socially lazy.

This post is getting moderately emo, so I’ll get back to the topic at hand.

Perhaps, though, this hesitation I have is as simple as…once I become comfortable with a group of people, I then become comfortable expressing myself around them. I have no problems commenting, complaining, pitching ideas, or pushing for change at The Triangle or around the iSchool…but when I first got involved with them I surely was not nearly as confident as I am now. I guess I just have to hold out and keep trying to find my footing in these new situations.

I think what makes these tougher is that I’m “the college kid” or “the co-op” or whatever. I don’t have years of experience, a spouse and kids to talk about, or even a broad perspective on the field (though I’m trying to work on that one, since it’s the thing I can change)…so I feel like I have so little in common with the “adults” I interact with. Plus I’m just terrible at small talk to begin with. Lately I’ve felt fairly dull and useless next to a lot of the people I’ve met, seen speak, or worked with. I’m not used to feeling this way…I don’t like it.

So how do I fix it? Certainly I won’t become a super-blogging-UX-rockstar-power-networking-Twitter-celebrity overnight. But I guess I can start taking the little steps. Forcing myself to post, even if it’s not perfect. Getting out to events and actually talking to people rather than sitting in a corner staring at my notebook or cell phone, munching on free food.

It’s time to turn over a new leaf…hopefully the wind that is my busy crazy college life won’t just blow me back over again.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Bene Gesserit litany against fear, Frank Herbert’s Dune

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Salted Pork

April 28, 2009 at 12:25 am (twitter) (, , , , , )

After reading this CNN article about the Twitter hype surrounding the swine flu outbreak (and after getting the urge to blog now that I’m finally back on co-op), I had to throw my 2 cents on the interwebs.

Over the past few months, I’ve been getting quite into Twitter and have been fascinated by the myriad uses people have found for it — everything from run-of-the-mill ambient intimacy to improving customer service, monitoring unborn babies to getting a student out of an Egyptian prision. Especially since the recent full implementation of search and trending topics in the web interface sidebar, one of Twitter’s most fascinating uses is in its application during crisis.

The impact Twitter is having on traditional media sources (who were already struggling to cope with the social media revolution) is probably more helpful than harmful in my opinion. Twitter provides a real-time channel for quick updates that is more suited to breaking news than most other digital channels.

Now, media sources must be cautious in utilizing this always-on form of communication. It’s fairly easy to overwhelm followers with tweets, and if that happens the information loses salience and perceived value, more than likely resulting in lost followers. Many news sources that I follow have found a happy medium by segmenting news by topic, etc. (Ex: I follow CNN’s @politicalticker for political updates since CNN’s breaking news is too much; on the other hand, I follow @cbs3 for local breaking news since they do a good job of posting only a few stories per day).

But back to the article that spurred this post — the prevailing attitude seems to be that Twitter is doing more harm than good in this situation as the RumorMill 2.0 cultivates mass panic. Dangerous? Perhaps. But I’d rather everyone be talking and looking for information about an epidemic than sitting idly by.

Sure, Twitter provides an easy means for fostering hysteria; sure, people can post whatever they feel like and it may or may not be reliable. But that’s not very different than good ol’ fashioned word of mouth…If anything, I should hope Twitter has a positive effect since people can only say 140 characters, and likely have to provide more details with a link to a reliable source. And, since the pace is so quick, I think it’s more likely that people will run into reliable information before they are too convinced by unreliable information.

Though in the end, it all comes down to taking information with a grain of salt. If I’ve learned anything in my ~16 years of schooling (and the past 1.5 years working at a newspaper) it’s that you should always evaluate information based on the authority and credibility of the source, and when one source is unverifiable, cross-check with others. It’s really not hard, people. Just because you see a couple tweets saying “DON’T EAT PORK YOU’LL GET SWINE FLU!!1!one!” doesn’t mean you should toss out all your bacon — it means you should find more detailed, authoritative information. More than likely this will be easy, since hopefully you follow some level-headed Twitterer who linked to a news article or a government source.

I first heard about Swine Flu when I saw it trending on Twitter. And frankly, I ignored it the first few times I saw it until someone I know tweeting about it. Then I looked around a bit more, coming across the swine flu Google map (which let me quickly determine there were no outbreaks reported so far in Philadelphia) and @CDCemergency – now that’s a great, appropriate use of Twitter. When it comes to these pandemic rumors, I tend to avoid even the major news networks because they tend to inject far too much hype with their dramatic graphics and updates every 10 minutes saying pretty much the same things over and over again. All I want is information from the people who know what they’re talking about — in this case, the CDC. Hopefully I’m not a minority in that desire.

Top ranked on Digg: How Swine Flu Spreads from Pigs to Humans

 

Another thing I’m finding interesting about this situation is the mass of tweets joking about swine flu — one of humanity’s best defense mechanisms is humor. Really, there’s little most of us can do to change the outcome of the outbreak, other than being conscious of our own heath and those around us. So in the meantime, the interwebs might as well turn it into a meme, like everything else dark and scary in this modern world.

I’m also left wondering how many comedic tweets CNN and whonot interpretted as serious — they have a tendency to miss out on the ‘Net Gen’s sense of humor.

See also: today’s xkcd :)

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Shotgun (a beer) Wedding

October 19, 2008 at 11:03 am (rambling) (, )

So I went to a party at my friend’s house last night…typical college-style party, drinking and smoking and music and shenanigans. But out of the blue, someone is like “There’s going to be a marriage ceremony tonight.” And we were like “Whaaaa?” and figured it was a joke, but everyone who seemed to know what was going on was like “No, it’s for real, they’re really getting married.”

Apparently these kids got a marriage license the other day, and their friend became an ordained minister of some sort over the Internet. I guess that’s how they wanted it — a random-ass ceremony in the middle of a college-style party. It’s not like they were just drunk and decided to do it *Cough*Britney Spears’ 55-hour marriage*Cough* — it was planned out. At this time in their lives, what other sort of ceremony could be more meaningful?

The sermon the “minister” gave (wearing a hat that looked like a pizza and referring frequently to their “savior” JoJo, another friend whose blessing — a thumbs up — was required for the marriage to be legitimate) was ridiculous, using a plethora of vulgarities and Internet references such as “over 9000″ blessings. And at the end, they split and ate their Stouffer’s “wedding pizza.” But the riduculousness only made it more fantastic.

Something so “sacred” as marriage, something that is politicked about just because a bunch of people think two people of the same sex shouldn’t be allowed to have it…something that is falling apart in this country (with our ~50% divorce rate)…something that has taken on an entirely new meaning since the women’s rights movement (though part of their vows was something to do with hitting the bitch when she gets out of line…and later on they chanted “Make him a sandwich”)…it’s just so absurd how a MARRIAGE could just happen in the middle of a college party. So absurd, and yet so beautiful.

I’ve said before that marriage evolves with society — it’s hardly a fixed institution — and this was just another phenomenal mutation.

I have to wonder how long it will last, how long they’d been together beforehand, if their parents know/approve, if it was actually real as they claim or just a stunt.

But if it was thoroughly legitimate, if they really do love each other and that’s how they really wanted their wedding to be, then all the more power to them. It was probably the most amazing wedding ceremony I’ll ever see. And certainly the least expected.

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All too true

September 14, 2008 at 10:38 am (politics) (, , , )

Song Chart Memes

Thank you, GraphJam. Frequently they’re just dumb or tired memes, but this one is all too true.

As Obama pointed out back at the primary debate at Drexel in November, we’re in the “silly season of politics,” where the campaigns and the media pull out all the stops to harp on anything except the issues that really matter. Yes, this is an historic election, for African-Americans and women alike. Sure, some people are ignorant and will base their votes on things like race and gender. But I like to hope that in 21st century America, a significant enough number of people have evolved to look past such things to what’s really important: policy stances and leadership ability. Apparently the mainstream media doesn’t agree.

I’m also sick of the meticulous poll tracking that has been going on. There are new polls every day, and they tend to follow the predictable jumps around conventions, VP announcements, etc. Maybe I’m just a cynic when it comes to statistics, but I don’t feel like one candidate jumping ahead of another for a few days in a few polls is anything to get riled up over. The only poll that really matters is the one on November 4th.

And last, but probably most important, people need to check their facts a lot more, and the candidates need to stop twisting each others’ words (It’s a lofty hope, but a girl can dream, right?). Something that’s been driving me crazy lately is the McCain commercial that says Obama is going to raise taxes on YOU. But unless you make over $200,000/year, or $250,000 as a family, that’s simply not true. (See also Tax Policy Center’s most recent comparison of the candidates’ plans.) The McCain campaign is taking advantage of the traditional view of Democrats as tax-raisers to distort the truth. Yes, taxes will increase on the wealthy, businesses, etc…but not on the middle-class working families and individuals that these ads are targeted to scare.

The Internet has helped bring more transparency to politics, since you can easily access candidates’ official platforms on their websites, and utilize non-partisan sites like FactCheck.org and Project Vote Smart to verify the consistency of candidates’ words and actions. But I have to wonder, how many people really do the research? Certainly, it’s still much easier to get our information from 30-second spots.

Here’s to hoping that the upcoming debates will be a bit more focused on policy than flag pins, for the good of the candidates and the voters alike. America needs some honest, informative debate to help it make this decision.

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Blogging.

September 9, 2008 at 12:40 pm (rambling) (, , , )

After PodCamp Philly this weekend, I’ve had the urge to start blogging. I’ve always been wary of blogging because I’m afraid I’ll write maybe two posts and get too busy, or I’ll just have nothing to write about. So, I’m starting this blog with no expectations. I’m hoping to write a few times a week, but with classes and everything else starting up soon, I doubt that’s going to happen. But who knows :)

I’m also looking to start an op-ed blog over at The Triangle blogs, but I know it’s going to be a challenge. I tend to oppose writing about something just for the sake of writing about it, rather than writing only when you are passionate about something…but maybe that’s why I’m trying this blogging thing, to get over that resistance, to try to infuse a bit more journalistic ethos into my personalistic writing ethic.

Hooray for making up words.

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